This is a confession.
Even more so, this is all I never said,
couldn't, wouldn't, feared and desire to communicate.
It's four in the morning and I am thinking of you.
I thought of you an hour ago, but could not stop
the stream of consciousness that swelled within my mind,
then emerged from my soul.
I thought of you days ago, weeks ago, months.
You were a passing idea, a brief glimpse of an illustrated emotion.
And so you have remained, until this early morning by which
I allowed my mind to feel.
You were my mentor, my guide, my light.
You illuminated everything which surrounded me,
casting your rays to expel all shadows,
making visible my world from every direction.
You taught me, even when you did not know it.
You filled my brain fully with treasure,
and my heart wholly with burning desires for more.
You entertained and satisfied each trivial moment,
even while you slept.
You loved so extraordinarily,
sharing with me the magic of your soul.
I miss you.
I miss your genuine presence beside me.
I miss your passion. I miss your excited convictions.
I miss your thoughts of creation, invention, and all things ahead.
I miss your vision. I miss working with you and by you.
Though, all these things I missed, too, while only an arm's length away.
And still, I miss you.
I know this has become my new beginning.
Though, admittedly, I wish I could make and share this journey with you.
However, I know we do not share the same path into the future.
I know this was the best road to take.
I know that you could not fly alongside me.
My wings are still growing, their span measuring only half.
Thus, I know that I must yet grow in solitude,
so that you may soar across the skies.
And so, I will miss you, I will remember you, and I will ever love you.
I wish you the most fulfilling life of ultimate joy and peace.
I wish you all the best you can be.
I will ever attribute many of the grandest, and most beautiful
to the short time spent with you.
Thank you.
Most sincerely,
Roni
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